


Sleep

by Wordstreamer



Series: February Ficlets 2018 [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Cuddling, Leia and Jess Pava in passing, M/M, in which Finn has nightmares insomnia and guilt, none of which are described in detail, which is really about as much as Kalonia features in it, who would have guessed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 00:07:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13581858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordstreamer/pseuds/Wordstreamer
Summary: February Ficlet Challenge #2 - "Character B can't sleep."Finn can't sleep, and he really can't say why.





	Sleep

It’s not really because of the nightmares. Well, the nightmares are part of it—which is why Finn can’t try telling Poe that with a straight face—but they’re not the whole of the problem. 

There’s the way where if he’s asleep, he’s not helping. He’s not contributing. Of course he knows the Resistance doesn’t expect him to be in the command center or out scouting without a break, especially when they’re still recovering from Starkiller. Of course he does. Even the First Order expected its cogs to rest at the proper times. But what if he sleeps for too long? What if he’s more of a drain on the Resistance and its resources—the bed, the food, the care—than he can afford to repay?

He can’t tell Poe that, either. Every time he tries bringing it up, he knows he’s said it wrong, because he gets an earnest speech about how he doesn’t have to repay anything. Sure, except he does. He was part of the First Order.

So there’s the nightmares, and there’s the fact that any time he closes his eyes on this soft bed it feels like sinking further into debt, and there’s the way that he still feels like he slept forever in the medbay and some days he thinks he’s still there and this is a drug-induced dream—

It’s none of those, and it’s all of them, and still more things, and kriff if he’s managed to say it right once. He either gets a fierce look or a sad look, depending on what he says and who he says it to, and nothing that actually helps.

Still, he feels like he hasn’t slept well in at least a year, and he knows that lack of sleep compromises your efficiency, and Poe keeps giving him the sad worried eyes even though he’s stopped trying to explain it.

\--

According to the General, it’s not Force-related in origin. Or if it is, she can’t tell, which is the best they can do for now. Jess recommends trying to drink until he passes out, which kind of works, but the hangover is terrible and it’s not something he wants to do again and again. He gets recommendations from Doctor Kalonia—things he can try eating or avoiding, drugs he can try to take—but the drugs aren’t a long-term solution anymore than the alcohol is, and the food doesn’t seem to help one way or the other. She also talks about stress and reasonable expectations, and mentions that if things were different, she’d recommend he speak to a therapist. Unfortunately, the Resistance is a little short on dedicated counselors at this point.

Breathing exercises help. They don’t keep the nightmares away, they don’t necessarily keep him from waking up over and over throughout the night, but at least they help him get to sleep eventually.

It takes a while for him to pick up on the one other thing that helps most often, but it makes sense once he thinks of it.

Someone else, whether with an arm around him or just as a weight right beside him, helps. It’s something he never had in the medbay, something he never had in the First Order, something that helps to anchor him when things are at their worst.

“Just sleeping,” Poe says slowly. 

“Yes,” Finn answers, as if it was a real question, and Poe nods.

Not that it’s perfect after that. Finn still has his share of nightmares and insomnia; Poe has more sleeping issues than Finn had necessarily noticed when they were across the room and BB-8’s noises helped to hide his involuntary moaning and twitching. But it’s better.

**Author's Note:**

> I might do something longer with this later (it's so vague! and short!) but it works within the confines of the challenge. It's been a WHILE since I wrote anything outside of one universe, so bouncing around into all of these is about all that I'm aiming for.


End file.
